Modern Medicine

I think there is a secret initiative to make Americans more productive. Now you can go a vacation, have a heart attack and be back to work on Monday.

A theory my brother in-law tested this weekend at my mother’s surprise birthday party.

Killer party mom……well, almost!

La familia….

When I tell people my father is a meat and potatoes guy, I am not kidding.

On the phone with mom…

Mom: This weekend your father turns 65!

(In the background)

Dad: In 2 weeks is gobble gobble…

Shore: Oh man, did he just gobble?

Mom: yes (giggle) that’s your father.

Shore: Well, does that mean I can eat his cake this weekend?

Mom: Sure!

FledEx

Dear FedEx,

I am sorry the notice below is required on your envelopes.

“Do not ship liquids, blood or diagnostics in this package”

Sympathetically,

Shorelinecity

Concert Rules

The rule seems to be when going to a show the tallest people in the place must stand in from of me. I say this because at some shows they seem to rotate positions or move left to right as if on purpose…ugh…

Oh you know who you are, now sit down damn it!!!!

Overheard in N.C.

“Basically, we gotta have some old people dieing before business will pick up.………”

Whoa what?!?!?

Competition

As a child I constantly competed for my parent’s attention. As the youngest of 4 I had a wide age gap working against me. While I was in the school play my siblings were 1 up-ing me by buying cars and having babies. The nerve!

Just as a quarter of my life passes I finally became #1 by what I think has more to do with physical and mental geography. Simply, I am the good kid.

Now, our house had been puppy free for too many years and I decided to buy them one. A gift to say good job, you finally realized who the good kid was.

So, instead of making the situation better I actually made it worse. How do I compete with this....



Seriously, how?

Family Humor

My parents return form a 4 day holiday and while they were gone Gram organized and cleaned much of the house. The last order of business was the pile of mail.

While standing at the top of the stairs Gram becomes postmaster for about 1 min.

Gram: Hey do you want your mail?

Mom: Oh sure. (gets up and walks over to the stairs)

Gram: Here….(

She then throws the mail underhand and down the stairs where it hits the floor with a splat and spreads out like an oversized fan directly at my mother’s feet.

Mom: What the….well then.

My mother and I look at each other, mouths gaping, gram stands at the top of the stairs bent at the waist, laughing.

Seriously, I have to be adopted.

Sweet Reminder

It has been a tough month on the water. My own emotional king da ka if you will, all compounded by a new and demanding gig. And just when I have felt the most distant from some of the most important people in my world…….I found these waiting patiently for me when I arrived home tonight. There were are no words…..some people just know.



Thanks sweetie, I love and miss you so very much!